Category Archives: Updates

Queen of All the Internet Dating

A few readers have asked me about my friend Kira, The Queen of All the Internet Dating. How’s she doing? Is she still dating? Did she end up with the Captain of the Football Team?

No, she did not. The Captain, it turned out, had issues.

I’m happy to report, though, that after another round on Plenty of Fish, Kira has found a good man. She’s in Hawaii with him right now, as a matter of fact. Poor thing. Hawaii, instead of Victoria in a January deluge.

I am really happy for Kira, but I have to admit that I miss her dating stories. By comparison, my experiences seem pretty tame. I guess there was Lawrence of the Five White Evils. But Kira could pull off that kind of date once a week. She had a knack for finding crazy characters like the Horny Baptist and the cat-breeding, recovering crack addict.  The closest I came was the guy who drove around with a blow-up cat.

And the selfies Kira would receive! Men she’d never even met would send her thoughtfully composed portraits of their penises. Regularly. In all my time dating, I didn’t get a single penis selfie. Okay, that’s not entirely true. I did receive one, but it was charming. A man I knew visited Florence and while there, sent me an email titled “Naked Selfie.” He’d attached a photo of Michelangelo’s David.

These days, Kira and I have other things to discuss. For example, what to do with gifts from ex-boyfriends. Some things are easy to part with. But the expensive watch? The bracelet from Tiffany’s? These are a little more problematic. On the one hand, we don’t want these reminders of the men from our pasts. But on the other hand — Tiffany’s. I know. The best plan we’ve come up with so far is to trade bling. It’s a workable solution.

But I’m not sure about some of the other things she’s looking to unload. All I can say is that if you’re in the market for a pair of leopard-print restraints, call me.

 

Now in Paperback!

img_4936The paperback version of An Alphabet of Men: Dating My Way from Adam to Zak is now available! I held the first copy of my book today — and I’m still deliriously excited about it! Even though I’ve seen my memoir about online dating for sale on Amazon, downloaded the book in Kindle form, even read my first five-star review, it was only today, as I held my book, that I truly felt like an author. And when I was asked, for the first time, to sign a copy? So cool! I’m sure that there are lots of long-time authors who see book-signing as an ordeal, a necessary evil of marketing. But not me. Today, I’m choosing to celebrate. I’m choosing delight!

If you’ve been waiting for the book to come out in paperback, it’s here now!

 

Dating Mr. Wrong

img_2839It’s hard to find the right man when you keep dating all the wrong ones. But choosing Mr. Wrong was my specialty. In fact, if I can claim any expertise in the dating realm, it’s in how to consistently choose men who are completely unsuitable.

You’d think that a single, suburban soccer mom would be out on the dating websites looking for a single, suburban soccer dad, somebody like me, with parenting responsibilities, a garage full of camping gear, and at least a passing familiarity with Sponge Bob Square Pants.

But you’d be wrong.

This suburban soccer mom almost exclusively dated men without children; men whose garages were filled with sports cars and motorcycles, who spent their weekends golfing or sailing, and who were planning vacations decidedly more exotic than a week tenting at Rathtrevor Beach.

In retrospect, it seems painfully obvious that my strategy was misguided — okay, maybe delusional is a better word. But at the time, I honestly didn’t see it. Over and over, I’d find myself drawn to the adventurers, the playboys, the ones who promised fun, fun, fun! The single dads? I didn’t even consider them. Too boring.

I’ve been thinking about this over the last couple of weeks, when we’ve had everyone here for Christmas and hosted one family event after another. I’m so glad I finally came to my senses, stopped running away from the single dads, and found myself a man who is fun and adventurous, but who also values family as much as I do. As we cooked together, spent time with the kids, and kicked back and relaxed when the kids were away, I kept thinking, “Yep. This is exactly who I was waiting for.”

The Harley-riding, para-gliding, world-traveling playboys? Definitely alluring. But in the end, not what I really wanted.

I sort of wish I’d figured that out that after five dates, and not after fifty.